Wisheries

“Cancer is the new wedding card for our generation,” Jeremy said last week while I was in Seattle visiting with him and Anne. Anne practically snorted her water out of her nose at his comment. I agreed 100% with Jeremy. First it’s the save the date, then it’s the wedding invitation, then it’s the baby announcement, then it’s the we’ve bought a house and don’t forget to change our address, oh, and now comes, one of us has cancer. It just seems like so many people we know are being diagnosed.

The conversation arose when I told Anne that our friend Wendy was just diagnosed with cancer. From the first day we met in 7th grade, Wendy and I competed at absolutely everything we did. Both tall brunettes who participated in theater and music, and who both who wanted the attention of our friends and those around us, we continually butted heads, but somehow always came out best of friends and supportive of each other. Our favorite movie as kids was Beaches. You know it, The Wind Beneath My Wings movie with Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey. Growing up, I always viewed Wendy as the Bette Midler character CC- loud, always saying what was on her mind, never PC, and oftentimes embarrassing me in public. I viewed myself as the more “refined” character Hillary that Barbara Hershey played. If you don’t know the story, Hillary ends up developing cancer and dying from it and CC comes in and raises Hillary’s daughter. Tear jerker movie.

When I told Wendy I had cancer, I have to say we both probably laughed a bit at the irony of the story. We also knew this cancer isn’t going to take my life, so we were light hearted about it. Wendy wrote me an e-mail and ended it with “you are the Wind Beneath My Wings Franny.”

A week later, Wendy e-mailed me and asked what she should do about a lump on her lung. My first reaction was bad. I thought, hold it, is she upstaging me once again? I have cancer, so now she has to get it too? Very bratty to think that I know, but I have to admit to being in utter shock that this could possibly be happening to her. I knew that a lump on her lung was not a good sign and quickly encouraged her to seek a second opinion from another doctor and to be hasty about it. Turns out, yes, she is upstaging me again and it’s quite serious. She was diagnosed with melanoma that has moved beyond the skin surface and has now taken over 1/3 of her lung. It has also moved into her lymph nodes near her lungs.

Surgeons are removing her lung today and hoping to get all the cancer out. She will not be eligible for traditional treatments due to the fact that her lung capacity will be diminished. I’m just hoping for a successful surgery and that they are able to get everything out. I’m not willing to think about the other possibilities at this point.

I am dumfounded that this is actually happening to us. What are the odds that two friends who were inseparable for nearly 6 years are both diagnosed with cancer within a few weeks of each other? I know we have two completely different types of cancer which are completely unrelated to each other, but before we knew Wendy’s diagnosis of melanoma, I was curious what we could have gotten into that would have caused this. I stand on the belief that my cancer is environmental. Before Wendy’s diagnoses, I couldn’t help but think it was the self tanning lotion we used to put on. I remember putting on about 10 applications one evening while watching Beaches and when my mom picked me up in the morning, I was so orange I looked like an Oompa Loompa. All I know is I don’t have the answers as to why this is happening and right now, I’m feeling frustrated.

I wish Wendy and her family did not have to go through this. I wish she could have the type of cancer I have. But, I mostly wish and hope that her surgery went well today and that they are able to get all the cancer out of her. I think a girl deserves a wish to come true, don't you?