Power of Two

Cristina and Bryan had a beautiful wedding, surrounded by giant trees, lavender, a few hundred brightly colored Chinese lanterns, beautiful local flowers, family, and friends. One couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day as they exchanged their vows under an arch of lavender. I stood in place with the other bridesmaids and watched Lena prance down the aisle gracefully scattering flower petals with flourish, dramatically tossing her hands up in the air to make sure the petals were properly distributed. When she reached the end of the aisle, she tipped her basket upside down and shook it to make sure every last petal was out and in its place on the ground. I couldn’t help but laugh and cry at the same time.

Like most weddings, there was a lot to be done before the big day. I told Cristina I would put the flowers together, do the bridesmaids hair, and be the stand in wedding coordinator telling people what to do so she wouldn’t have to. I spent most the day on Friday assembling bouquets, boutonnières, and table arrangements. I had beautiful flowers to work with and I also used greenery and lavender from Cristina and Bryan’s property. It was a lot of work, but quite soothing at the same time to make something beautiful for a beautiful dear friend. It was Cristina who came to Seattle with me when I was getting my biopsy surgery back in January. It was Cristina who was with me when my oncologist told me I had cancer. It was Cristina who watched Aurelia that night because I was admitted to the hospital because I was too sick from the gas induction to go home. It’s Cristina who I e-mailed and texted several times a day the last six months using her wedding as a distraction from my cancer.

While I was in Oregon, I also had the chance to see Wendy who was freshly out of the hospital. Our visit was short because we knew we’d see each other in a few days when she came up to see her oncologist in Seattle. The Seattle visit was emotional and hard. Wendy got really bad news about her cancer while in Seattle. She kept saying it’s now all about the quality of her life verses the quantity. What do you say to that? I wanted to hug her and say, “It’s going to be okay.” But the truth of the matter is, the end result is not okay and I’m not going to lie to her. What can one say in a situation where you know one of your best friends is now looking at quality of life verses quantity? I chose to tell her that I love her and that she needs to stay strong and not give up and to fight it as long as she can. My mom and I also fed her lumpia and hot and sour soup, some of her favorite foods. It was good to see her eat a lot because she looks as though she’s wasting away.

Even though I put on a brave face for Wendy, her visit left me very depressed. She has an eleven year old girl and a thirteen year old boy. This is sadder than Terms of Endearment and Beaches combined, because this is my friend and I am feeling utterly helpless. I was really fretting going to sleep last night when all of a sudden I got a text from Penny who wanted to see how I was doing. After some texts, we realized she was staying in a hotel a mere ten minutes from me, six if I drove fast, which I did. It was awesome seeing her. We talked about Wendy, about our own lives, and about our cruise we’re taking in February. It was a short visit as she had to get up to fly to Buffalo in the morning and I had to get up early to have my port removed, but it was an awesome visit.

Yes, my port is history! As always, it wasn’t a straightforward procedure with me and I was thinking the whole time I wish Dr. Miller in Juneau was doing it. For one, the surgeon who was supposed to do it left me in the hands of his resident. And get this, he didn’t even do it, his intern did the procedure. The resident had to talk his intern through the whole procedure and I heard things like, “Okay, cut more. No, no, that’s too far. Okay, a little to the left, oh, too far, oh wait, no, more.” And, my personal favorite which I heard about ten times, “No! Don’t touch that, it’s not sterile!” They had a really difficult time removing it because they said it was about an inch and a half deeper than they usually are. I heard the resident say, “It’s like digging in a deep, bloody, hole.” Not really the image I wanted. I am afraid to see what my already wicked scar is going to look like now that they’ve butchered me once again. But, it’s out. It’s painful because I have a huge incision in me, but like I said, it’s out! One step closer to being finished.

Oh, and before I forget, I’m having a picnic/BBQ in Seattle on Sunday, July 18th. All Washington and Oregon residents welcome (well, I mean those that I know!) Not sure which park I’m having it at, but I should know in a few days. Stay tuned.