Pushing the Needle Too Far

Aurelia dropped off at sitter? Check. Lena dropped off at school? Check. Make it to my chemo appointment in time? Check. Blood drawn? Check. Proceed with chemo? No.

My white blood cell count was too low to proceed and they can’t risk it because if I got sick, I wouldn’t be able to fight an infection. My WBC needed to be 1200 and I am only at 800. My oncologist in Seattle doesn’t want me to have the Neulasta shot which would boost my cell count up, instead he wants me to wait a week and let my body do it on its own. He did allow me to have a shot of Neupogen which will work with my body to create new white blood cells. I took one dose today and will take another tomorrow. The nurse had Addison give it to me and he will do it tomorrow too. Addison doesn’t like needles and I don’t like the idea of getting a shot from someone who doesn’t regularly administer shots, but he actually did quite well.

To top things off, my port-a-cath is infected so next week they are going to remove it and put another one in. This will be my 5th surgical procedure since November. My infected port-a-cath has me worried most of all, the idea of having an infection from a surgery does not sit well with me. Especially since my WBC count is so low I can’t fight off an infection at this time.

My chemo being thrown off a week has fouled lots of things up. I was supposed to get my next round on the 12th here in Juneau and then we were headed out to Arizona. On the way back through I was going to stop in Seattle and get my fourth dose there. Now, I am behind a week which means I need to set up to receive chemo in Arizona, cancel my hotel and flight reservations for Seattle, and make new arrangements to go back to Seattle a week after I return from Arizona. It’s kind of a headache because everyone wants doctor notes and some have cancellation penalty fees. It’s just a bunch of extra steps I don’t feel like dealing with.

Also, I called my oncologist today because I got tired of waiting for the letter that has yet to arrive. I wanted to confirm that the tumor board suggested radiology and what that meant. I was told at one time that if I had to undergo radiology, that my chemo would be shortened from 6 months to 3 months. However, after talking with my oncologist, such is not the case. I still have to do the full 6 months and then I will do the radiation after all is said and done. Not the news I wanted to hear….sigh.

The one thing I am learning with this disease is that you can’t plan very well in advance. Not only do you not have a choice in whether or not you get it, you don’t have a choice on when you get to fight it, how long you have to fight it, or if your body is even strong enough to take the drugs to fight it. Flexibility is key and I’m slowly learning to just go with the flow. And now, I have to allow Addison to squeeze my belly fat and give me a shot in the stomach- now that is flexibility!