As Cool as I Am

Two car seats, one stroller, two pairs of shoes, two coats, one laptop, one bag of liquid formula, one Mary Poppin’s size carry-on full of tricks, one adult, one toddler wearing only one hot pink sock, one infant, and a partridge in a pear tree hobbled through the Las Vegas airport security on Friday en route back to Juneau. We took up the entire conveyer belt and the metal prepping tables, it was quite the sight!

Earlier that morning, my friend Cristina suggested that I just make believe the flight from Las Vegas to Seattle was going to be easy, “Live in the Land of Mr. Rogers.” I took it to heart, even as people glared at me while going through security because I was taking so long.

Seeing that it took a quarter of a century to get through security, by the time we got to our gate, boarding had already started. The gate agent saw the herd approaching and fast tracked us to boarding, cutting us in front of the MVPS and Gold Star Elite. Most people were happy to move and let us go ahead, except for one woman who glared at me while loudly whispering to her husband, “If this woman and her kids think she’s getting ahead of me, she’s got another thing coming!” I didn’t know a woman traveling with two children were considered the plague, but I learn something new every day! Afraid of “what might come” if I went ahead of her, I just smiled and dramatically and gracefully bowed and motioned her ahead- she didn’t know what hit her. There was a nasty twinge inside of me that wanted to whisper to her- “And while you’re judging me, I just want you to know I have cancer- take that!”

When we got on the plane, I handed Aurelia to the flight attendant and went about installing Lena’s car seat into the airplane seat, something one needs an engineering degree to do. When all was staged and Lena was fastened safely in her car seat, the stewardess returned Aurelia and asked where our final destination was. I said Juneau and she said and I quote, “No wonder. Juneau people are always so easy-going, cool, calm, and collected.” SCREEEEEEECH!! Put on the breaks! Was I just described as “easy-going, cool, calm, and collected?!” I had sweat dripping off my forehead and my blood pressure was probably through the roof, but I, Frances H. Field was just described as “easy-going, cool, calm, and collected.” Life was good and living in the land of make believe was definitely working in my favor.

Lena was an angel on the flight. The man in front of her seat complimented her and said it was the first time he had a child sitting behind him who didn’t try to perform chiropractic procedures on his back mid-flight. The best part was when we hit severe turbulence and it was so bad that the woman behind us (obviously fearful of flying) started sobbing. Lena started singing the words to The Black Eyed Peas “I Got a Feeling” at the top of her lungs (she didn’t mean to, her ears were plugged) and by the time Lena threw her hand up in toasting position and shouted the lyric “Mazeltov” the woman was laughing.

Addison’s mom met us in Seattle at the top of our gate. She’s coming to stay with us for the month of March to help out which I am so looking forward to. When I saw her I knew we had made it and survived the flight. Yippee! It was also when we saw Addison’s mom that she told us we were on the milk-run all the way to Juneau stopping in Ketchikan and Sitka before arriving in Juneau five hours later. Somehow the fact that we had three more flights instead of the 2 hour direct flight from Seattle escaped my memory. At least I’d have Grandma Field to help entertain.

Nearly 7 hours later when we finally made it to Juneau; Lena disembarked the plane and happily skipped up towards the airport in her Arizona sundress and sandals as the cold wind shook the gangway. When she came through the doors into the boarding area, she threw up her hands in the air and cheerfully exclaimed, “We actually made it!” It was greeted by laughter by the people waiting to board their flight.

There is a good lesson to be learned here. One, it was a historic day because I, Frances H. Field was described as “easy-going, cool, calm, and collected.” But more importantly, I’m learning that there’s no point in letting a thing such as a solo flight with a toddler and infant get the best of me, I’ve got bigger hurdles to overcome and I best save my energy for them. I don’t think we can expect a changed Frances over night, but I’m sure as heck going to try.